Everyone,

Thanks for all the great comments on my last post.  I won’t be able to respond or post any for a couple of days while my new and improved website is being set-up.  So, I thought I’d leave you with a couple of thoughts, gleaned from my experiences of the last few days.

Ways to make hospitals safer, and more likely to pass JCAHO, CMS, HIPPA compliant:

Create no trash. Leave no footprint.  Make no sounds.  Express no dissatisfaction.

Staff should never, ever consume food or fluids on hospital grounds.

Do NOT speak a patient’s name, either to the patient or in the waiting room, or to another provider.  To speak their name is tantamount to controlling their very soul.  And it violates their privacy.  Our names are encrypted with our secrets.

Charting is passe’.  Record all patient encounters with video cameras for later litigation, that is, debriefing.

Stop calling patients patients!  Remember, they are all consumers.

Never admit anyone who might have a complication, and never send anyone home who might have an illness that could cause complications.  Do you see?  It’s a Koan!  What is the sound of two patients suing? 

Please remove the  outer layer of your skin when entering, or exiting the hospital.

Maximize your administrator to patient ratio.  Should be somewhere around 30:1.

Remember, rules are made to be made; and to ensure someone’s job security.

Nursing and physician importance and influence are inversely proportional to time spent touching icky sick people.

And most important of all:

From now on, for everyone’s safety, no patients will be allowed in any patient care area.

Have a great weekend!  Hopefully, I’ll be back up and running in a couple of days.

God bless you all, and keep you as you try to do the Father’s work, caring for the sick and dying in the endless labyrinth of modern medical regulations. 

Edwin

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