The patient has fluferculosis, buperculosis, conbumption, arg!

The patient has fluferculosis, buperculosis, conbumption, arg!

I’ve dictated charts since I started private practice 16 years ago.  Although I like to think that I’m pretty good with the English language, it turns out that when I speak it, I mumble, slur and frequently dictate things that make no sense to the transcriptionist.

A standard chart for me might look like this:

‘This 44-year-old_____ complains of several days of ______ severe in the_______right______explosive and sudden in quanset.  (Unable to understand physician)….and stated that she(he) {please clarify} would not be short of ______ usually has no pain in _____ when she (he) falls onto the crown?’

Now, this is difficult enough, as you might expect.  And  often worse when I’m finishing a night shift, and the chart says ‘the patient is awake, alert and sleeping quietly at discharge,zzzzz.’

But voice transcription takes it to a new level.  No blanks, no question marks, it just says what it thinks I’m saying.  Now, let me interject with the fact that I think this is an excellent system, and I’m just getting started  on it; but the learning curve is entertaining.

So, the machine asks me to try saying some things.  Sample letters, so I can learn the computer and it can learn me.


Dear Albert,

‘Thank you for your recent letter.  I hope you and your family are enjoying your new home in Phoenix.’



Mind you, I have to include all punctuation.  ‘Dear Albert comma quotation mark, thank you for your recent letter period I hope you and your family are enjoying your new home in Phoenix period quotation mark

Sincerely comma


Which comes out, on voice recognition,

Rotation dark fear wal-mart donna loquacious harken condor rank and file boom door piquant feather serious night rope rope who sand four heartily wart singing or flu dome send penis furious donation bark

sinfully donna


It’s only going to get better!


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