Nadya Suleman is the focal point for a lot of anger these days. Understandably, I think. The 33-year-old single mother of six, all born by in-vitro fertilization, just had octuplets. (By the way, even my computer is suprised. It doesn’t recognize the word ‘octuplet.’) Ms. Suleman has been on disability for years, and states that she is in school, and thrilled by her new infants. Now, in ages past she might be a woman to revere. In the right time, and the right social situation, she would be a woman among women, raising children to contribute to the strength of family and nation.
But now, in 2009, with her situation in mind, those of us who go to work and pay for our children find her behavior beyond ridiculous. Those of us who have to pay our physicians are insulted. Those of us whose tax dollars support appropriate disability and indigent care find ourselves reaching deeper into our wallets; something even more worrisome with a huge spending package circling the economy like so many smelly vultures.
As a father, deeply committed to my children, I’m offended by the man who has been the ‘biological’ father/donor for all 14 of this woman’s children. Where is he? What does he think? Is he involved? Does he care? Does he have money to contribute to the cause?
And what doctor thought this was a good idea? Is he accountable? Is he brain-dead?
It all smacks of entitlement. But worse, it all reflects on our cultural abandonment of reasonable, rational values.
You see, we live in a nation of morals turned upside-down and backwards. There is no right and wrong. In fact, we’re so confused that we have, ultimately, little to say to Nadya Suleman.
Why? Well, offended and outraged as we might be, we’ve heard the mantra for years: the government has no business in the reproductive life of women. This popular philosophy has been sustainable thanks to the long-term power of Roe-v-Wade. Although restrictions on abortion exist, our progressive cultural elites are themselves outraged by any attempt, whatsoever, to limit a woman’s right to choose ‘whether or not to have a child, and when.’
Nadya Suleman chose to have a boat-load of children. Who, from the government, should have told her no? Before we say ‘but it’s our tax dollars,’ let’s remember that Planned Parenthood has long received federal money. That is, tax dollars help support abortion rights. The choice to live as one wants, sexually, is deeply ingrained in our current national ethos. Oddly, that has come to mean only one thing to most ‘moderns;’ the right to terminate unwanted pregnancy.
But, in this remarkable twist of irony, tax dollars support the right to ‘choose’ to have a large number of human offspring. As Jesus said, ‘Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.’ In other words, ‘people who live in glass houses ought not throw stones.’ Or, if choice is good for one, it certainly seems reasonable for the other.
See, Nadya, for all her seeming dysfunction, is a product of a world that says you can do what you want, when you want. You can live on disability and have as many children as you like. You don’t need a husband to have children, ‘I am woman, hear me roar;’ men are unnecessary accoutrement to parenthood. Marriage is passe, children just need a mommy…and a set of financially strapped, exhausted grandparents, in this case.
We created Nadya, and make no mistake about it. Mistress of her own destiny, arbiter of her own unique morality, recipient of the support of an advancing socialist state which throws out money and ‘manufactured’ rights like so much wedding rice.
Ms. Suleman is not part of a committed marriage (a statistically verifiable guarantor of the success and well-being of children). She is hoping for, probably banking on, celebrity status. And going on and on about how her alleged education will help her support all of her fatherless offspring. Nadya, enlightened and free, is proud of all of it.
I pray that she does a good job, and that her children receive the support they need. But I worry about them, and about her. And I worry about all of us, and our children, inheritors of what increasingly seems to be a mad-house of illusions that passes for a nation.
Edwin
PS: Before we condemn Nadya’s fertility specialist, remember that we face a future in which Ob/Gyn’s may soon be compelled to either perform abortions, or refer for them, or face censure up to and including loss of practice privileges. Why would we expect Nadya’s doctor to judge her decision? Apparently the job of a doctor is not to judge, not to discern, not to make value statements, not to have values at all; but to do what the customer, and government, says at all times.
Dr. Leap: I agree with you. I don’t have any idea what our nation has come to. It is absolutely unbelievable. People are “doing what is right in their own eyes” of which the Book of Judges speaks. I am concerned also that our government seems to think that it can take care of everyone. There is no personal responsibility any more. I agree those babies are precious, but there is no way that this woman can take care of them. The government using our taxpayer’s money will do it. It breaks my heart.Every child deserves a family that can… Read more »
June in Minnesota
16 years ago
This message was forwarded to me from Lisa L. She has also given me your books. You are a special extended family! I admire your depth of faith, as it is balanced with your depth of real-life. Thank you for putting into words the thoughts I had not sorted out yet in my head! This situation is just plain different than the John and Kate plus Eight family, or the Iowa Septuplets….or many other multiples. Thank you again for your insight, and letting us read it!
disgruntledindallas
16 years ago
OK, readers, you have one simple choice to make on this issue. Who is responsible for a child? The parents, family, community, religious congregation, state, or federal government? I think we can all agree it is not the child itself, at least until it attains a certain age or level of maturity and responsibility. If you answer the parents, then this case is nothing other than a complete and total abomination, an affront to personal responsibility. In knowing IN ADVANCE that she had absolutely no way to pay herself for her prenatal care, delivery, and for feeding, clothing, sheltering, and… Read more »
This woman is, like you suggested, just another symptom of the moral sickness that has badly affected our country. My first thought was that perhaps the mother has some sort of underlying mental problems; my next was that the fertility doc who allowed this travesty to happen ought to lose his (her?) license or at least be forced out of practice for breach of ethics. Allowing an octuplet pregnancy is such a breach whether the mother “wants” it or not; my reaction was that the doc should have run for the hills upon realizing this mother already had so many… Read more »
Great topic, and well-written, as usual. One reason I find this topic fascinating is that those on both the “left” and the “right” find the actions of this woman and her fertility doctor to be abominable. While I do find Ms. Suleman’s actions to be a result of the entitlement that has become pervasive in American culture, I don’t think that the culture of entitlement and personal indulgence that allows her to be proud of what she’s done relates as clearly as you say to the pro-choice movement. For me, it’s always seemed odd that those who would advocate for… Read more »
Very well said. We, as a culture, did create this psychopathology. The entire notion of responsible sexual behavior and child-bearing is now considered anachronistic. But it was men who led out in this area, wasn’t it? Didn’t we women just follow them down this path of irresponsibility? Wasn’t it men who first convinced their lovers that fathers were unnecessary in the lives of offspring, so that these “fathers” could just leave without a backward glance at what their sexual behavior had wrought? The ideology of “spawning” offspring, so evident in Nadya’s behavior, is originally copied from men. When, then, are… Read more »
Teri Adams
16 years ago
Any point you may have is buried under your biases. Using this outlier to hold up as an example of what’s wrong with our culture and making a truly amazing rhetorical leap to how the modern, pro-choice public is to blame is flat out illogical. Luckily for you, there is no one to say no to your desire to publish your opinions publicly.
Anonymous
16 years ago
I don’t see what the big deal is? I mean why are we not mad at the freaking doctor he is the one that is at fault. I mean we get more consuling if we want to get a nose job or bigger breasts yet this doctor thought it was okay to give this single mom more babies knowing full well she had already six children. That should of raised a red flag to the doctor Hello? She should of been referred to a psychologist for a full mental evaluation. The doctor should of known better you don’t do things… Read more »
nursepract
16 years ago
Why is everybody so outraged about a doctor that does what his patient wants him to do so he gets paid? The medical profession has been doing this for years when the mother of every snot nosed tot in America demands antibiotics for her child’s cold- caused by a virus. Doctors know that if they don’t do it someone else will and get the $$. Now we have many “superbugs” that no antibiotic can touch because all those tots took drugs for things they didn’t have –allowing bacteria to be exposed to the antibiotic and mutate. Ms. S. is a… Read more »
thedrafter
16 years ago
Lets not forget the millions (???) of illegals in this country who – by law – can have all the babies they want (for freee) and they get American citizenship to boot. Guess who’s paying for that. I’m from California. I don’t need to say anything more. “Look in the mirror” a previous writer said. Another one said “cast the first stone –“. I think our forefathers and mothers are rolling in their graves. Who is the first person here to give up one of their “rights” for the benefit of all. And what is the “benefit of all”. Some… Read more »
DeepinIowa
16 years ago
Iunderstand the women who take fertility pills get what they get. In an attempt to have one child, their body may not react to the chimicals the way the doctors anticipate. The result is multiple births. This is beyond the control of the women. They are given the choice of elimiating some of the embryos. But to these women they are not embryos. From the moment of conception they are babies snd after their miraculous births (Jon and Kate’s 8 and the McCaughey’s 7) they had a rally of people behind thim to help them. They lived in cramped, but… Read more »
boardhead
16 years ago
Ed has it right. The government over the past 30 years has created a culture of dependency, where all in the mood have their hand out. So now we have 2nd and 3rd generation welfare babies having theirs on the dole. Thirty four % caucasian, and 68% minority babies are born to single mothers like Suleman, most of which send the taxpayer the bill. Ms. Suleman is nothing less than a theif, stealing services from the taxpayers, and from others who have made a single mistake. She counted on the handouts, wholly immoral. I am an insurance professional, and routinely… Read more »
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It’s really a nice and useful piece of info. I am glad that you shared this helpful information with us. Please keep us up to date like this. Thank you for sharing.
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Great column, Ed. Very insightful.
Dr. Leap: I agree with you. I don’t have any idea what our nation has come to. It is absolutely unbelievable. People are “doing what is right in their own eyes” of which the Book of Judges speaks. I am concerned also that our government seems to think that it can take care of everyone. There is no personal responsibility any more. I agree those babies are precious, but there is no way that this woman can take care of them. The government using our taxpayer’s money will do it. It breaks my heart.Every child deserves a family that can… Read more »
This message was forwarded to me from Lisa L. She has also given me your books. You are a special extended family! I admire your depth of faith, as it is balanced with your depth of real-life. Thank you for putting into words the thoughts I had not sorted out yet in my head! This situation is just plain different than the John and Kate plus Eight family, or the Iowa Septuplets….or many other multiples. Thank you again for your insight, and letting us read it!
OK, readers, you have one simple choice to make on this issue. Who is responsible for a child? The parents, family, community, religious congregation, state, or federal government? I think we can all agree it is not the child itself, at least until it attains a certain age or level of maturity and responsibility. If you answer the parents, then this case is nothing other than a complete and total abomination, an affront to personal responsibility. In knowing IN ADVANCE that she had absolutely no way to pay herself for her prenatal care, delivery, and for feeding, clothing, sheltering, and… Read more »
This woman is, like you suggested, just another symptom of the moral sickness that has badly affected our country. My first thought was that perhaps the mother has some sort of underlying mental problems; my next was that the fertility doc who allowed this travesty to happen ought to lose his (her?) license or at least be forced out of practice for breach of ethics. Allowing an octuplet pregnancy is such a breach whether the mother “wants” it or not; my reaction was that the doc should have run for the hills upon realizing this mother already had so many… Read more »
Great topic, and well-written, as usual. One reason I find this topic fascinating is that those on both the “left” and the “right” find the actions of this woman and her fertility doctor to be abominable. While I do find Ms. Suleman’s actions to be a result of the entitlement that has become pervasive in American culture, I don’t think that the culture of entitlement and personal indulgence that allows her to be proud of what she’s done relates as clearly as you say to the pro-choice movement. For me, it’s always seemed odd that those who would advocate for… Read more »
Very well said. We, as a culture, did create this psychopathology. The entire notion of responsible sexual behavior and child-bearing is now considered anachronistic. But it was men who led out in this area, wasn’t it? Didn’t we women just follow them down this path of irresponsibility? Wasn’t it men who first convinced their lovers that fathers were unnecessary in the lives of offspring, so that these “fathers” could just leave without a backward glance at what their sexual behavior had wrought? The ideology of “spawning” offspring, so evident in Nadya’s behavior, is originally copied from men. When, then, are… Read more »
Any point you may have is buried under your biases. Using this outlier to hold up as an example of what’s wrong with our culture and making a truly amazing rhetorical leap to how the modern, pro-choice public is to blame is flat out illogical. Luckily for you, there is no one to say no to your desire to publish your opinions publicly.
I don’t see what the big deal is? I mean why are we not mad at the freaking doctor he is the one that is at fault. I mean we get more consuling if we want to get a nose job or bigger breasts yet this doctor thought it was okay to give this single mom more babies knowing full well she had already six children. That should of raised a red flag to the doctor Hello? She should of been referred to a psychologist for a full mental evaluation. The doctor should of known better you don’t do things… Read more »
Why is everybody so outraged about a doctor that does what his patient wants him to do so he gets paid? The medical profession has been doing this for years when the mother of every snot nosed tot in America demands antibiotics for her child’s cold- caused by a virus. Doctors know that if they don’t do it someone else will and get the $$. Now we have many “superbugs” that no antibiotic can touch because all those tots took drugs for things they didn’t have –allowing bacteria to be exposed to the antibiotic and mutate. Ms. S. is a… Read more »
Lets not forget the millions (???) of illegals in this country who – by law – can have all the babies they want (for freee) and they get American citizenship to boot. Guess who’s paying for that. I’m from California. I don’t need to say anything more. “Look in the mirror” a previous writer said. Another one said “cast the first stone –“. I think our forefathers and mothers are rolling in their graves. Who is the first person here to give up one of their “rights” for the benefit of all. And what is the “benefit of all”. Some… Read more »
Iunderstand the women who take fertility pills get what they get. In an attempt to have one child, their body may not react to the chimicals the way the doctors anticipate. The result is multiple births. This is beyond the control of the women. They are given the choice of elimiating some of the embryos. But to these women they are not embryos. From the moment of conception they are babies snd after their miraculous births (Jon and Kate’s 8 and the McCaughey’s 7) they had a rally of people behind thim to help them. They lived in cramped, but… Read more »
Ed has it right. The government over the past 30 years has created a culture of dependency, where all in the mood have their hand out. So now we have 2nd and 3rd generation welfare babies having theirs on the dole. Thirty four % caucasian, and 68% minority babies are born to single mothers like Suleman, most of which send the taxpayer the bill. Ms. Suleman is nothing less than a theif, stealing services from the taxpayers, and from others who have made a single mistake. She counted on the handouts, wholly immoral. I am an insurance professional, and routinely… Read more »
She’s a moslem. They’re like wabbits…
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It’s really a nice and useful piece of info. I am glad that you shared this helpful information with us. Please keep us up to date like this. Thank you for sharing.