This is the template for local television news as I have observed it during quarantine:
Breaking News! Covid is still here and bad. Some places it’s better but mostly, even there, it’s pretty dang bad.
Weather! Going to be hot or cold, wet or dry with possible tornadoes. We’ll tell you about it later if you stick around, but where else would you be during Covid?
Breaking News! Covid…doctors and nurses. Press conference. Touching scene of mask, Dumb protester who doesn’t get it; dumb politician who doesn’t get it.
Touching cat story from local shelter. ‘After quarantine, consider adopting little Rona kitty here, OK?’
Breaking News! Weather. We still have some. Probably unrelated to Covid. More at the end of the hour.
Murder, murder, assault, assault, murder. If you see these two please call police. Also car crash.
Breaking News! Murder during Covid.
Restaurants still serving carry-out. Because Covid.
Breaking News! Trump still president! And, of course, Covid.
Weather, cold tonight, hot tomorrow, possibly tornadoes or snow. Worse due to Covid.
Breaking News! Missing dog found with hiker.
Children on Zoom. Businesses on Zoom. Teachers on Zoom.
Breaking News! Having children home is hard…during Covid.
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