OK, like every ER, we’re getting a lot of ‘could I have the swine flu?’ inquiries.
I understand. I love being alive. I love that my wife and children are alive. I’m not really keen on coughing and vomiting myself to death, either. Furthermore, the government and media aren’t really all that reassuring. Especially VP Joe Biden, but that’s another post altogether.
So, I’m happy to reassure everyone, so long as they know that the wait is long, the science is inexact, we don’t know enough about this virus, and my ability to predict the future is limited.
Still, here are a few guidelines that people seem to be using to determine whether or not they might have been exposed to swine flu.
‘I think I have the flu because I…’
‘Know a Mexican. Saw a Mexican crossing street next to black cat. Brushed against a Mexican. Spoke with a Mexican. Looked at map of Mexico and felt ‘funny.’
Went to Taco Bell. Drove past Taco Bell. Saw some Mexicans at Taco Bell. Watched old episode of Zorro. Recently heard Mariachi music in restaurant.
Touched a pig, saw a pig, heard a pig, ate some pig.
Enjoy bacon. Put fat-back on my abscess.
Touched a pig, saw a pig, heard a pig, ate some pig in Mexico.
Heard pig play Mariachi. Watched movie with pig in it.
Spoke with someone who did any of the above.
Once went to Central America. Had crush on girl who went to Cancun and never knew I existed.
Started vomiting after eating old cheeseburger; which was, incidentally, purchased in restaurant where staff member had traveled to Mexico (on Spring break last year).
Kissed pig, kissed someone who speaks Spanish, looked at picture of Paz Vega, Cameron Diaz, Jessica Alba or Penelope Cruz.
Where my daughter lives they are having press conferences advising people NOT to call 911 because they think they have the flu. Is there some kind of strike-em-stupid virus going around ahead of this thing?
I can’t stop laughing. I have destroyed my copy of Babe and ofrbidden spanish rice in the house. My neighbor’s sister’s daughter is dating a boy named Juan..should I be worried???
p.s. bumped head on cabinet while fixing burritos equals need for stat head Ct, nasal swab and anti-viral med. SDH and swine flu…I bet the ers are getting a double whammy.
UnitSec
14 years ago
“Sigh. It’s going to be a long pandemic…”
That’s funny. I work in a small rural hospital. Yeah, we’ve seen an uptick of “I had a fever and a sniffle and thought I should come in to be checked out.”
But you know, it’s not that people are stupid. They’re scared. Thanks to the “sky is falling” media who have to make everything a pandemic. We’re going to hear it so often, that when the real thing hits, we’ll be so numb we won’t react appropriately.
Okay, so now I’m being told to NOT swab my patients (sheeesh).
Fact is, apparently we’re running “LOW” on flu test kits, so I should only swab people who I suspect of having H1N1. Kind of like a “confirmatory” test rather than a “rule out”…..
I wonder if they thought of this when we were “pan-flu” planning (PFP) months/years ago. We thought about bed capacities, ventilators, Tamiflu stockpiles, but flu test kits???? Nope, forgot that one.
Guess I’ll have to go back and use that ancient art of “bedside medicine”….!
-MB
Eric C
14 years ago
Okay, hold on now! Apparently this dissonance against the next greatest pandemic to afflict this great nation is not taking into consideration that some of us own stock in Tamiflu. Promoting the sale of Tamiflu in everything from bottled water to formula just might make up for my somewhat diluted portfolio! Seriously though, as a physician who can boast a membership in the country that has facilitated with World Record speed the great strains of resistant bacteria I wonder if we are attempting to produce similar accolades of resistance in antivirals. Can we keep the manic patients in the psych… Read more »
I went to Mexico 10 years ago. Am concerned about the latency period. (But not really).
Where I am in Australia, the advice for people is “Stay home unless you are actually SICK”. And get your flu vax. And stop smoking. The usual.
In this case, being in a smaller regional hospital where most people can’t afford to travel overseas is good. High rates of obesity and T2DM, but low rates of swine flu 🙂
Dan
14 years ago
Virus is a Latin word, meaning ‘poison’. A virus is more of a very well organized molecular parasite than an actual life form, such as bacteria. The virus cannot grow or reproduce without a host cell- another life form. That means it needs a bird or mammal, such as humans, in order to exist and thrive. And the virus has the potential to completely destroy the host they have acquired in the process in order to exist. Presently, influenza is once again a very concerning sub-microscopic infectious agent, and we are their potential hosts in order for these viruses to… Read more »
At work, little Ugg Classic of himself quite strictly, through their own efforts are recognized leaders and colleagues The skinniness of the leg portion emphasizes the expansiveness of the butt portion To me, I’m a man like that, absolutely! There are some suggestions on matching the two thins together UGG Classic Crochet should be hand washed and not put in the washing machine The only catch is that they are expensiveIf you aren’t seeking a lot of interest, it might be best to keep away from pink ugg boots Following are 7 tips that will ensure your columnist absolution is… Read more »
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Where my daughter lives they are having press conferences advising people NOT to call 911 because they think they have the flu. Is there some kind of strike-em-stupid virus going around ahead of this thing?
If so, there’s ANOTHER vaccine we’re in dire need of.
I can’t stop laughing. I have destroyed my copy of Babe and ofrbidden spanish rice in the house. My neighbor’s sister’s daughter is dating a boy named Juan..should I be worried???
p.s. bumped head on cabinet while fixing burritos equals need for stat head Ct, nasal swab and anti-viral med. SDH and swine flu…I bet the ers are getting a double whammy.
“Sigh. It’s going to be a long pandemic…”
That’s funny. I work in a small rural hospital. Yeah, we’ve seen an uptick of “I had a fever and a sniffle and thought I should come in to be checked out.”
But you know, it’s not that people are stupid. They’re scared. Thanks to the “sky is falling” media who have to make everything a pandemic. We’re going to hear it so often, that when the real thing hits, we’ll be so numb we won’t react appropriately.
Okay, so now I’m being told to NOT swab my patients (sheeesh).
Fact is, apparently we’re running “LOW” on flu test kits, so I should only swab people who I suspect of having H1N1. Kind of like a “confirmatory” test rather than a “rule out”…..
I wonder if they thought of this when we were “pan-flu” planning (PFP) months/years ago. We thought about bed capacities, ventilators, Tamiflu stockpiles, but flu test kits???? Nope, forgot that one.
Guess I’ll have to go back and use that ancient art of “bedside medicine”….!
-MB
Okay, hold on now! Apparently this dissonance against the next greatest pandemic to afflict this great nation is not taking into consideration that some of us own stock in Tamiflu. Promoting the sale of Tamiflu in everything from bottled water to formula just might make up for my somewhat diluted portfolio! Seriously though, as a physician who can boast a membership in the country that has facilitated with World Record speed the great strains of resistant bacteria I wonder if we are attempting to produce similar accolades of resistance in antivirals. Can we keep the manic patients in the psych… Read more »
This cracks me up.
Love it! Although I must confess I’m excited about the recent upsurge in handwashing.
I went to Mexico 10 years ago. Am concerned about the latency period. (But not really).
Where I am in Australia, the advice for people is “Stay home unless you are actually SICK”. And get your flu vax. And stop smoking. The usual.
In this case, being in a smaller regional hospital where most people can’t afford to travel overseas is good. High rates of obesity and T2DM, but low rates of swine flu 🙂
Virus is a Latin word, meaning ‘poison’. A virus is more of a very well organized molecular parasite than an actual life form, such as bacteria. The virus cannot grow or reproduce without a host cell- another life form. That means it needs a bird or mammal, such as humans, in order to exist and thrive. And the virus has the potential to completely destroy the host they have acquired in the process in order to exist. Presently, influenza is once again a very concerning sub-microscopic infectious agent, and we are their potential hosts in order for these viruses to… Read more »
Dan,
Thanks for the excellent summary!
Edwin
At work, little Ugg Classic of himself quite strictly, through their own efforts are recognized leaders and colleagues The skinniness of the leg portion emphasizes the expansiveness of the butt portion To me, I’m a man like that, absolutely! There are some suggestions on matching the two thins together UGG Classic Crochet should be hand washed and not put in the washing machine The only catch is that they are expensiveIf you aren’t seeking a lot of interest, it might be best to keep away from pink ugg boots Following are 7 tips that will ensure your columnist absolution is… Read more »