Is anyone aware of the tragedy of ‘Workamyalgia?’  The condition wherein work leads to extreme discomfort, sore muscles, fatigue and limited time for web-surfing and television watching?

I’ve seen it, and let me say (professionally speaking) it is horrible to behold.  The victims develop frequent, but fortunately minor, illnesses and injuries that are sufficiently inconvenient that they are unable to continue to expose themselves to the horrors of consistent, mundane, money-producing labor.

Over time, these illnesses (especially nefarious due to their objectively unverifiable nature) result in near total impairment.  And cause the victim to stare ‘like a deer in the headlights’ at any offer of full-time, gainful employment.

Fortunately, a cure exists.  Thanks to the beneficence of generations of Americans, the self-interest of politicians and the healthy work ethic (and greed) of numerous physicians and attorneys, we can announce the availability of:

DISABILACILLIN!  (Chemical name Noworkatall).

With a single application of Disabilacillin, the misery and heartbreak of Workamyalgia can be permanently cured.  Leaving the former sufferer completely free to ride jet-skis, work ‘under the table,’ ride-bulls, wrestle alligators, deer-hunt, cut timber, fish, have sex, drink, get in fights and do pretty much anything else.  Except, of course, work, which was the problem in the first place.

I hope you’ll all join me as we hail this outstanding jump forward in medical progress and social engineering.

Disabilacillin.  Ask your doctor why you can’t have some!


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