I hate gasoline. Not because it’s expensive or dangerous, but it always spills on me, no matter what I do. It spills on me when I pump gas in my car, or when I fill gas cans for mowers. It spills when I use a chainsaw, it spills when I put it in weed-whacker. It humilated me once, when I put it into my friend’s tractor, only to discover it took diesel.
Today I was filling a gas can at the local Exxon. After I pumped two gallons, I noticed a small but powerful leak in the side of the can. It was spurting out. I had to put the can in the car! But if I did, the back of my Durango would have been filled with gasoline before I got home.
So I tried to apply electricians’ tape, which I bought as the clerk laughed, sympathetically. It failed. I realized I’d need to buy a new can, which I did, grudgingly, and then washed the gasoline off of my hands where it (of course) spilled on me.
But for just a moment, a brief, ER moment, made worse by the warm sun, cool wind and clear blue Carolina skies, I thought, ‘you know, all I need to do is melt the plastic a little to stop the leak.’ But from somewhere my guardian angel said ‘Stupid! It’s gasoline!’ That was all I needed. Like the time I was a resident emergency physician, flying on an MB 117 helicopter, and almost walked into the tail rotor on a tiring, late night run. Something stopped me.
Now, I believe in angels. I’ve seen too much not to believe. But even for those who don’t, my summer advice is this: take a minute and think. Before you do almost anything other than breathe, think.
Here are a few useful questions to ask as you think:
Am I drunk? Will it bite? Will it explode? Can I swim? Will something fall down? Do I know how to use this device? Is it flammable? Will I choke to death? Does it sting? Am I allergic to it? Are people watching with video cameras? If I attempt this, will I make the news? Will I end up in the ‘Darwin Awards’ book? And last but not least, is it really necessary?
Maybe we should give ER patients a pamphlet with these questions on it. And while we’re at it, we should ask ourselves the same.
In my case today, it made all the difference. ‘Will it explode?’ You betcha, you stupid redneck! And here I am writing, instead of asking for more Fentanyl at the Joseph Sill Burn Center in Augusta, Georgia.
Good advice 🙂 As soon as you wrote “just need to melt the plastic a little,” I thought NOOO!!!! Good thing your guardian angel was hanging around.
edresident
16 years ago
hey man….what are you trying to do, take away business???
If people thought before they did things, we would have nothing to laugh at…I mean feel sorry about…at 2 am!
edresident
16 years ago
I will have to agree that even we who see this kind of thing every day are not immune to it. I have a colleague who came into our ED one day after breaking some ribs. The story began…
We always say that memorial day is the first day of stupid. Up here millions of college students flock to houseboat on a local lake. While here they consume lakes of alcohol and then engage in some seriously stupid behavior. The good news for the hospital is that college kids are usually covered by insurance, the bad news for us is that we are slammed all weekend
ania
16 years ago
Whoo-hoo. That was close.
There aren’t many moments that we can look back on and pinpoint how close we were to disaster.
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Good advice 🙂 As soon as you wrote “just need to melt the plastic a little,” I thought NOOO!!!! Good thing your guardian angel was hanging around.
hey man….what are you trying to do, take away business???
If people thought before they did things, we would have nothing to laugh at…I mean feel sorry about…at 2 am!
I will have to agree that even we who see this kind of thing every day are not immune to it. I have a colleague who came into our ED one day after breaking some ribs. The story began…
“Well, I was up on a ladder with a chainsaw….”
We always say that memorial day is the first day of stupid. Up here millions of college students flock to houseboat on a local lake. While here they consume lakes of alcohol and then engage in some seriously stupid behavior. The good news for the hospital is that college kids are usually covered by insurance, the bad news for us is that we are slammed all weekend
Whoo-hoo. That was close.
There aren’t many moments that we can look back on and pinpoint how close we were to disaster.