I was sitting around the ER a few days ago when I came up with an idea. What if, for one day, we asked our patients to summarize their reason for coming to the hospital in five words or less?
In an age of too much data, too many computer fields and far too much confusion, five words would be a nice break for some folks.
‘I have a swollen spot.’
‘I am having trouble breathing.’
‘I am out of Lortab.’
‘Keep me out of jail.’
‘Crushing chest pain right here.’
‘Need material for disability application.’
‘I am really very lonely.’
‘I just want to die.’
‘I just want him to die.’
‘Meth makes me feel bad.’
What an elegant, almost poetic way to take a history! Contributions welcome.
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I think I am pregnant.
Why are they following me?
I hear the colors, again.
When is lunch served here?
my doctor sent me here.
I got this oozing thang…
mcmuffin…lodged…in my esophagus…
somebody must’ve slipped me something!
theemth I’m allergic to thtrawberrieth.
family thinks I’m crazy. FECES!!!!
had this pain since 1974.
pain from wreck…I’m suing.
vomited once, an hour ago.
my poop looks weird. see?
1.I dont feel good!
2. I need time off
3. My husband is running around.
It is cold outside.
Hi everyone…! Have you heard about physicians in Costa Rica…?
This dandruff is killin me
Theres a marksalot in my…
Take my babys temperature