Our department has a templated system of discharge instructions. Some are quite excellent, and cover the gamut from chest pain to fractures, Anthrax (believe it or not) to dog bite.
However, there are always some that we lack. I often have to type instructions for the ones not pre-programmed in our computer system. Because we don’t have all of the ones we need, our group recently discussed instructions we should to add. On the list so far, quite reasonably, are obesity, alcohol abuse and ‘tingling’ (the great bane of all physicians). The list is new, so we have a lot of information to enter.
I was adding a few of my own to the list of needed instructions. I realized that it might be useful to have instructions for ‘bad choice of friends,’ or ‘icky tattoo infection.’ ‘How not to initiate fist-fights,’ and ‘knowing who not to take home’ seem fairly relevant as well.
Others come to mind: ‘don’t bring a knife to a gunfight.’ ‘Take only your prescribed pills, not those prescribed for your sister, girlfriend, uncle, grandfather or Great Dane.’
‘Disability is not a career choice.’ ‘Sorry you’re healthy and we didn’t find anything bad enough to hospitalize you.’ ‘Drinking and roofing don’t go together.’ ‘Those two beers must have been huge.’ And ‘If you don’t tell your wife about your STD, you’re a scum-bag.’
This is a potentially exhaustive list. In an era of political correctness, the ones we need to give would be mighty unpopular: ‘Get a job.’ ‘Stop breaking the law.’ ‘I can’t help you if you don’t listen to me.’ ‘Are you still smoking?’ And ‘you’re just mean.’
On the other hand, some which we would shy away from might really make a difference: ‘You’re a good child; too bad your parents are Ice addicts…it’s not your fault.’ ‘You’re beautiful; leave your crummy husband and go somewhere safe.’ ‘I know the voices say you’re worthless, but God loves you and so do we.’
What would you add to the list? What instructions could your patients most benefit from hearing? Share them with us. The world of medicine awaits your sage input.
“Since you are honest enough to tell me you are jonesing cause you are Vicodin addicted, and you aren’t going to tell me you are having chest pain to make me triage you faster and get you back faster to see the doctor, AND we won’t spend 5 grand running tests you will never pay for anyway, AND someday you may actually, really need us to give you excellent care while you lay dying–I’m gonna ask the doctor to have pity on you and give you your script and get you out of here. Cause we all know we aren’t… Read more »
What would I like my patients to put up on their refrigerators and look at time and time again? What would I like to have sink into their brains and hearts? “You can do this. I know you can do this. You are strong enough to make these changes in your life and be healthy and not have any more _________ (I work in cardiology, so this would likely include things like heart attacks, chest pain, leg pain, strokes etc.). I KNOW that you can diet and lose weight and exercise and drink less alcohol and eat less salt and… Read more »
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“Since you are honest enough to tell me you are jonesing cause you are Vicodin addicted, and you aren’t going to tell me you are having chest pain to make me triage you faster and get you back faster to see the doctor, AND we won’t spend 5 grand running tests you will never pay for anyway, AND someday you may actually, really need us to give you excellent care while you lay dying–I’m gonna ask the doctor to have pity on you and give you your script and get you out of here. Cause we all know we aren’t… Read more »
What would I like my patients to put up on their refrigerators and look at time and time again? What would I like to have sink into their brains and hearts? “You can do this. I know you can do this. You are strong enough to make these changes in your life and be healthy and not have any more _________ (I work in cardiology, so this would likely include things like heart attacks, chest pain, leg pain, strokes etc.). I KNOW that you can diet and lose weight and exercise and drink less alcohol and eat less salt and… Read more »
OH, I think we could make a whole day out of the different ‘patient instructions’ we could come up with.
How about a simple one:
Stop being stupid
I didn’t add my grade, but I give it a B- too. It really does have some useful tips in there for keeping relationships alive.
Simply wish to say your article is as astounding. The clearness to your put up is just spectacular and that i can assume you’re an expert on this subject. Well together with your permission let me to take hold of your RSS feed to keep updated with imminent post. Thanks 1,000,000 and please carry on the rewarding work.
I have observed that online degree is getting popular because getting your college degree online has become a popular solution for many people. Quite a few people have not necessarily had a possibility to attend a regular college or university but seek the increased earning potential and career advancement that a Bachelor Degree offers. Still other people might have a qualification in one discipline but would choose to pursue another thing they now possess an interest in.