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What do you mean it’s a cold?
A poem for viral illness season.

Fever, cough and runny nose,
Muscle aches from head to toes,
Scratchy throat and stuffy ears,
Doctor, please allay my fears!

Can’t I get some Zithromax?
Lortab for my aching back?
Maybe just Amoxicillin,
For my stuffy, whiny children?

You say virus I, but I’m dying;
Surely there ain’t no denying,
What I have is devastating,
And I spent an hour waiting!

Hook me up and make me better,
Else I’ll write your boss a letter;
Don’t you tell me ‘it’s a cold,’
That tired line is getting old.

I know it must be bronchitis,
Strep throat, Zika, meningitis!
I require a strong prescription
For my horrible condition!

Cipro, Doxy, Levaquin
That’s what someone gave my friend,
After two weeks they felt well
So why should I endure this hell?

Please throw in a week off work,
Percocet’s an added perk,
My tolerance for pain is high,
But I am just about to cry!

What, I don’t get any meds?
Drink some fluid, go to bed?
Are you crazy, are you cruel?
I think you’re a quack, a fool!

I’ll go home but I may sue
Everyone, especially you.
I don’t need this here abuse…
Fine, now what about that work excuse?