Breakin’ Mama’s Heart
aka Jim-Bob’s Terrible Confession
Cast: Mama 40, Daddy 42, Chastity 19, Jim Bob 17
Setting: The family is sitting around the table in their subsidized housing, discussing the future. Mama is microwaving dinner, as Daddy pops an Oxycontin, which Chastity eyes with interest. Her back has been hurting too.
Background: Jim Bob, ever the Black Sheep of the family, is on edge. He has news to tell the family, but he knows it won’t go well. Chastity knows about it and is being typical big sister. A typical big sister, that is, who refuses to work, loves to party and has seriously considered a career in government sponsored child-birth.
Mama: How’s your back pain, honey? Any better?
Daddy: Naw, I think them Oxycontin aren’t gonna help anymore. I need something a little stronger. That lousy ER doctor offered me Lortab. Can you imagine? Might as well give me Pez!
(Laughter from all.)
Mama: He tried that on me and I called the patient advocate. I got him in all kinds of trouble! By the way, you’re Aunt Treena’s birthday is coming up. Next time someone offers you Lortab, think about the family before you storm off, OK?
Daddy: As always, honey, you’re right. (Turns and smacks her on the backside, but winces in pain from the effort).
Chastity: My boyfriend has some Methadone. You want me to ask him if you can try it?
Daddy: Sure, sugar; there’s a nice girl! See if you can borrow a couple for your old man. What’s Ricky take them for?
Chastity: Well, you know he fell out of that tree stand a few years ago. Ever since then, he has headaches. And pretty bad…
All: BACK PAIN! (Laughter, but nervously from Jim Bob.)
Daddy: How’s his application going?
Chastity: Lawyer says he’ll have disability in no time. Then we can think about…
Jim Bob: Getting married?
(More laughter from Chastity and her parents.)
Chastity: No stupid. You’re such a goody-two-shoes! We can think about having a baby! I’ll get Medicaid and he’ll get a check. Why, the sky’s the limit!
Mama (beaming): I always knew you were the one who could find her way in the world.
Daddy: Good job sugar. He’s a low-life, but I think ya’ll can make it work! I got arrested with his daddy one time. His grandpa knew how to file a lawsuit. What a man. (Whistfully, with admiration.) How about you Jim Bob? Graduation is almost here. What are your plans? You recovered from that car wreck? I mean, that’s your ticket right there, you know!
Jim Bob: My ticket? Chastity was driving! And she was stoned on Xanax and Adderal! It was her fault!
Daddy: Well there’s fault, and there’s fault. You know that soccer mom that hit her will settle up, just to stay out of court.
Jim Bob: (Appears disgusted.) I do have a plan, but…
Chastity: I know a secret, I know a secret….
Mama: Hush you, and let your baby brother talk.
Jim Bob: I…it turns out I got a scholarship to go to the university. I want to study construction science and build stuff like great-grandpa.
Silence, as Chastity snickers and plays with her nose-ring.
Mama spins around and wipes a tear from her eyes with the dish towel, then rustles in her apron until she finds, and takes, a Xanax. She repeats it a minute later.
Daddy: (Looks hard into his son’s eyes.) Did I hear you right? You thinking of going to college? (He tries to stand, but can’t due to his medication and back pain). I ought to walk right out of here. Look there! You’ve made your mama cry. (Looking into his son’s eyes) Just what makes you think you’re better than everybody else?
Jim Bob: Daddy, it’s nothing against you. I love all of you! But I just want more than disability, Medicaid and pain medicine, can’t you see that?
Chastity: He wants Hannah, the checkout girl at WalMart. She’s going to nursing school.
Mama: (Sobs.) Her papa is a preacher…I can’t face this! They’ll bring…casseroles! And there won’t be anything but punch at the reception if you get married!
Daddy: Why don’t you two just go shack up? Or get hitched if you have to? WalMart is a fine job for her. And you can, well, you can just go work until you get hurt or something.
Jim Bob: I can’t! It’s dishonest! Can’t you see it? Grand-dad would have agreed with me.
Daddy: Grand-dad never knew his place. Why, he kept working years after he could have quit! Stubborn fool!
Jim Bob: But he died happy, didn’t he?
Daddy: Chastity, get the car. I’m going to the ER. My nerves are tore up, and your mama’s is too. Now, remember, you got pelvic pain, Mama heard that somebody was dying and I got hurt in Iraq. We have got to have something else to get us through this trial. What we did to deserve a son like you, I’ll never know! I knew you were different, boy, but I never took you for a prodigal.
Chastity: Told you they’d be mad! (Sticks out her tongue, with tongue stud.)
Mama: Jim Bob, please think about it. You don’t know what might happen to you, to our family, if you take such a sordid path! Oh, and if you’re out, can you get me some smokes?
Jim Bob: I think I’m going to the library. Sorry to be such a disappointment.
The family storms out and lays rubber on the road in leaving. Jim Bob, resolved, opens a book to read.
Sure, it seems harsh. And it’s fictional. But it’s based on years of observation. Anyone who has worked in an ER for any period of time, actually seeing human beings, will at least understand how this came to my mind. People seem to choose disability, addiction, dysfunction and generational incapacity. Does it seem as if it’s focused on rural America? Maybe, but that’s where I practice. I grew up, and practice, in Appalachia. And sadly, this sort of life is all to common. I fear that those kids who want to rise up, who want to escape, often face an uphill battle against ingrained culture and a mind-set that diminishes the value of success and education unless it comes by luck…for instance a lottery; or by deceit and crime, as in false disability or illicit drug sales. Is this only in Appalachia? Hardly. The inner cities experience similar problems.
But the greater problem, and perhaps the greater tragedy, is that many of those in positions of influence, in medicine, in politics, in education, know it. But they’re afraid to point it out for fear of being branded judgmental or unkind.
I think that not telling the truth is the most unkind cut of all.
So sad the truth behind this. Families where disability checks are passed on and thought the norm.
Several families came to mind as I was reading this. So sad, but so true!
It’s the same where I serve as a pastor. Trying to determine who needs help and who expects help is a full time occupation. The one we go all out for, the latter we turn away.
Sad but true.
Not exactly as my upbringing but similar, I was accused of being too good, too smart for my own good and made to feel guilty about it for years. But many people that God placed in my life, led me by their example, sometimes without their realizing the influence that had showing me what path it was okay to have the confidence to take. I am now 52, a RN, married to a wonderful man that has always encouraged me. Your column for many years has done this too. Family is important but should be positive and loving. Thank you… Read more »
I’m always disappointed when I see failure, and in this case it is yours Dr.Lea. Undoubtedly, medicine is an exhausting profession but the disdain you have for the ignorance of some people is worse that their unfortunate lives. Do you not think your attitude is not reflected in your treatment of patients? I’m sorry for the children who observe you. Teaching contempt is not what makes children wish to succeed
I’m sorry to disappoint. What is it that you do for a living? Perhaps I can explain my perspective through understanding yours.
I hardly see what I do for a living as apposite to your responsibility, indeed all our trust. Do you not realize you may be the only functional adult these children encounter?
Well, I’m only trying to establish credibility. If you never encounter the public, or work with patients who seek drugs, disability or litigation, then you have less experience with this than I. I do realize that I may be the only functional adult some of these kids meet; which is why I am kind and patient with them, and always try to do my best for them. That does not negate the fact that there are many people in the world who intentionally mislead disability boards, children who learn entitlement from their parents, persons who knowingly and repeatedly mislead me… Read more »
I got to give you credit doc you articulate your point about as well as possible. Even keeping composed when recieving little snide remaarks like those from Rather. I’m sure he doesn’t work with exposure to the same population as you do or else he would understand the artilcle. And if not like most CEOs and govt. agent he lives in a fantasy land. I am about ten years behind you in medicine and I fear that if more people like you don’t shed the light on abuse and waste that the landscape of medicine and the economy in general… Read more »
“Well, I’m only trying to establish credibility.” Let’s be honest, you’re question is the paternalistic classic ” I am a doctor and therefore know better”
You demonstrate kindness but your contempt for their parents negates your efforts. These children love, and defend their dysfunctional parents; it is what they know, and sadly, their path.
Yes, I understand your POV is filtered by age, and experience but these children see your behavior as cacozealous compassion.
Seth, my remarks are not snide but your insult is Pecksniffian . . your word of the day 😉
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